Wah Wah (In a Michael Jackson voice)

So the opera theater has ended and now I am stuck at stupid stages...=\ I am going to miss all my friends at the opera theater it's ridiculous. I always think it's so crazy that you can bond with people so much in one month at work. I love it though. We are having a going away party for Zez tomorrow (hanging out and drinking wine =]) with Danielle, Chris, Liz, Tom, Emily, and Alex because he is going to Chi town for a while and then Bloomington and then Colorado and then back to Bloomington for school! Danielle and I want to visit him either in Chi or Bloomington while he's there. We are also going to the 80s dance at Wesleyan this year! =] I am going to miss him.
Yesterday my mother informed me that she had to take a Papsmere last week and it didn't come back with good results. Today she went in to get a Biopsy done and the results will come next week sometime. I was on the phone with my sister about this yesterday and I really don't know what's wrong with me because I have never cared less about someone in my entire life and I wish I did. If the results come back positive for Cancer, I don't know what I'm going to do or how I am going to react. This is something I am really struggling with right now and I think about it constantly. [It's just this and that freakin' boy :)] It's weird for me to think about what's going to happen in the future because at this point anything could happen. I could end up not having any parents at anytime and the only time I think about that is when something happens I guess. I feel selfish thinking "What would happen to ME if she dies?". Obviously, she would be upset about it, and really my concern should be her and her happiness right? When my dad was sick all I did was wish I could take his illness from him so he would not suffer. With this I just don't have any emmotional connection with her so I don't care. I feel like I should and I wish I could make myself and this really makes me upset and frustrated. It honestly feels like someone I don't really know told me their mother has cancer and all I can say is "I'm sorry". I just don't know what to do about this. I guess in reality there is nothing I can do except wish life wasn't this complicated--and that's a waste of my time. I just read this and I sound like a bitch...I really don't mean to though. ugh.

On the other hand, I had a really fantastic time with him today. :) There's nothing like intense flirting in blackburn park! haha