Emotional Roller Coaster

It seems like this past month has just been a crazy time. My emotional and mental stability has been fluctuation in huge amounts and I'm pretty sick of it. I think there's just so much going on with my home-life and with school that I just can't keep up with either. I have one more year until I can get out of this house I'm stuck in. Since I was 14 the plan was to divorce my mother at the age of 17 when it is legal. I am now 17 and I could have done that by now. The problem is college and the fact that I want to stay at my school. The more I stay with her though the more college doesn't seem worth it. In reality I know it will be, but it's just so hard to walk home to nobody and to have no one to support you. It's weird when I walk in my house and my mother mentions that I am home for the first time in a long time when in reality I had been home every day after school for 3 weeks consecutively and she hadn't noticed. I'm more used to how things are now though and I have friends that are here to go through things with me so I think everything will be okay in the end. There are just those small stepping stones I have to get across.
This year I have realized a lot about people and I now live knowing that they can't always be trusted, and no matter what happens, there will always be immature people. No matter what age a person is there is always the teenager or kid in them that is malicious and rude. I got a great example of this today when my friends blog was mocked. I feel like that is one of those things you just cannot do to someone. When people chose to put their thoughts online they chose how they want to do it. If a blog isn’t hurting anyone I don’t understand why there is such a problem with one that you would have to mock it. It hurts the writer and it’s just not fair that they can’t have their own thoughts not be disturbed. I have thoughts racing through my head all the time and if I could not write some of them down I would explode. Some of them aren’t even that personal, but they just need to get out in some way.
As of right now I have 14 days of school left. Those days could not be going by any slower. I need out. I need to be able to focus on ONE thing at a time. My brain is just tired. Thankfully there are some fun things coming up and some things I can look forward to:

1. Senior Directed One-Acts
2. A Half-Day
3. The Last Choir Concert
4. Senior Wars
5. A-Men Extravaganza
6. Weekends
7. Starting work at the Opera Theater-seeing my friends from there!
8. Memorial Day Weekend =P
9. The Potato Party
10. Graduation Parties
11. Yearbook novels
12. SUMMER.

I guess those are just some of the basics to look forward to until school ends. It makes it easier to get through the day when something more exciting than school is going to be happening…
Soon I will be free.

~Stevie~

P.S. This summer, I think I might be able to get the bar piercing in my inner conch that I want!

Either that or my snug...