This is what happens when I don't blog in a long time...

So even though there has been about a million things for me to blog about I just failed with having motivation. Now I guess I have a lot to talk about...

1: I am in the Wizard of Oz this fall at school. I decided that it's my last year and I might as well. I really love being in shows and this is kind of my last chance. I am a flying monkey, munchkin, and they want me to be and ozian too. We'll see how that goes though because the costume change would be 5 minutes and I have full face make-up. So in reality, I don't see it happening. I think I'll just have to sing from off stage. That's all good though because my dream is finally coming true. I get to tumble on that stage before I leave! Last week was all music and it is surprisingly really hard for most of us. The part with the poppies is so weird and ridiculous so this week has been a bit frustrating especially with the cough I've had. My voice has been completely useless 2 days this week.

2: I miss stages extremely bad. I haven't been able to go back since school started because it's been so hectic. I hate it. I loved it there so much and now the people that I worked with there are gone. I learned so much and took so much from it. Especially from Caitlin. She has been through things in her life and I love talking to people like that. The thing that sucks about theatre is that it's a traveling job so it becomes hard to keep in touch with everyone. After being in school I feel like I'm not growing in my academics and as a person. Something just feels like it's missing. Guys & Dolls with Stages opens next Wednesday and I will be seeing it and I can't tell you how excited I am! I hope one day I will have another experience equally as good as this one or better because I don't think I could live without it.

3: Thespians. I have been so bipolar when thinking about this. It's been obnoxious and annoying and for some reason I keep sticking to it. For a long time I was in love with it. I guess I feel like I have just grown up a lot and I am just bitter when it comes to dealing with people in high school and high school events. They just frustrate me. I can look at Thespians from a positive perspective though so hopefully it will brighten up.

4: I've been hanging out with one of my cousins a lot lately. I don't know if it's because I don't have any friends or if we just ended up hanging out. Regardless of the reason I really like it. I wish we would have hung out more throughout my high school career because now I am going to leave and she will still be here at meremac. We have a lot of fun together and she likes to laugh and bitch about the world, people, and family just as much as I do. It's nice to hang out with people I haven't hung out with in a long time. As much as I miss my other friends I am happy I am bonding with a part of my family. lol. Weird right?

5: In English we have started to work on college essays a bit. The point of a college essay is to show off myself and the fact that I have some maturity. I was told to pick a topic/story/experience and then find out the specific reason why it helped make me who I am today. Of course, I chose my dad dying as my topic because there is so much that happened that morphed me into what I am now. The problem is that I need to be specific and there has to be a point. I just don't know what my point is. I could write about my dad and how that one moment in my life changed me forever for pages and pages. Unfortunately, a typical college essay should
be about a page to a page and a half. So really, that gives me nothing and for once in my life I am going to have a problem with cutting down my work rather than adding some pretty bullshit to lengthen it. I think I just need to talk it out with someone. Mr. Conway said that he would conference with me sometime next week after school, but I think that might be weird. I don't know I'll see what happens. I just know that I have been thinking about this constantly and It's driving me nuts. lol. It's like massive writers block.

6: That BOY. The only thing I have to say: DOUCHE BAG. The end. I'm done.

7: After Stages and family vacation I have realized I am a very feminist person. I always thought I wasn't really, but now I can see so much of it in me and I just get very heated and angry very fast. I am not a feminist to the point where I wouldn't take my husbands last name yet though...
At Stages all the boys there were obnoxious about women. They never outright said anything about them but you could see it in other ways. One of them always talked about how he went to visit his girl friend and how they fucked. I never heard anything about this girl besides the fact that the did it. She's not an object. Also, at Stages, Caitlin was a carpenter and a GIRL. She was the only one there with an actual theatre degree and she was constantly shoved aside. They treated her differently and I am the one who got to see it happen. She would always work in a different part of the shop and not with the guys and she never went to the theater with the guys. They never said they didn't want her in there but it was almost as if "there wasn't any room" because she has a vagina and boobs. There were two days when I was furious about that. It still pissed me off though.
Family vacation: I've talked about my family. Let's lay it out shall we? Here are the standards in my family:
MEN: Work on cars, fix things, play with fire, get messy, all that shit. Do everything considered "manly".
WOMEN: Cook, clean, take care of kids, all the things "women should do". but here's the catch, if men need help or can't do something, women in my family still have to take on the "manly roles" as well. That's it. No questions asked. To be honest, I can't stand it.