Wednesday, January 20, 2010

It Hits You Like Scripture

You gotta get gone,

you gotta get going

Hey, the world ain't slowing down for no one

It's a carnival callin out to you,

It sounds like a song,

Hits you like scripture

You paint the picture

With colors squeezed from your hand

Weren't you the kid

Who just climbed on the merry-go-round

Hey look, the world ain't slowing down


"The world Ain't Slowing Down" by Ellis Paul



Last weekend I worked at a show called Here to Stay produced by the local theatre company Washington Ave Players Project. The concert was held at the Sheldon Concert Hall and the company is owned by my technical theater teacher at school, Schaefer. I was the house manager and part of the crew.


The process of this show for me was only 3 days. Dress rehearsal then 2 shows. I went into the show knowing the tech crew I was working with, Schaefer, and 2 cast members. After working there for only those 3 days I met some amazing people, saw some kick ass performances, and made some connections for future jobs.


The song "The World Ain't Slowing Down" by Ellis Paul was one of the songs performed in this concert. I never had much of a connection with the song until that dress rehearsal but since then I have listened to it at least twice everyday or on repeat like I have currently. This song basically talks about how life goes on rather you are along for the ride or you are fighting it. It talks about how reality smacks you in the face and you have to get out there and make something of life with no baggage. I feel like I can relate to this song a lot. I know that I am super focused on my life and what the future holds. The more this year [school year] has progressed the more I have realized that I can't let the baggage of my home life and my past keep me from doing what I want. While working on this concert and listening to this song be performed it made me realize that growing up fast like I did isn't ALWAYS a bad thing. I like to have fun like any other person, but I feel like since I have done things like make professional connections and work instead of play sometimes I will be more stable in the future. As much as I hate how I've had to grow up so fast, I am also thankful for it because I learned a lot of things that some adults still haven't. I feel like I have learned to balance things in my life. I have learned the difference between "need" and "want". I know that "should do"s often need to take over my life. I have also learned that sometimes it's okay to be upset and that is is a healthy thing. I have learned that holding on to people that aren't worth it is a waste of my time.
I think I can truely say that I have learned that the world isn't slowing down for anyone. That you just have to pull yourself up and keep going because people aren't always going to wait for you. I love this song because as much as it is blunt about life it is also said in a way that is comforting to me.


Monday, January 4, 2010

Annie's Hope

Grief Behaviors of children and teens: <<--Link

afraid of the dark
afraid to go to bed
afraid of hospitals, physicians or their offices
repeated illnesses
clinging to parent or guardian
changes in school work
intense anger at self or others
nightmares
tantrums
fighting
hurtful behavior to self
hurtful behavior to others
destruction of property
over or under eating
bed wetting
cruelty to animals
withdrawal from family or friends
obsession with death
experimentation with sex
use of drugs, alcohol or cigarettes
difficulty concentrating
oversleeping
difficulty sleeping



I am analyzing myself. I don't know if there is a connection or not. Wow. My day just took a turn.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Happy Birthday!

Luke 2:9-11
9 An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10 But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. 11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.



Sunday, December 13, 2009

Haunting my mind...

Santa have you seen my soldier,
the one who wears my heart,
we're so far apart.

Santa have you seen my soldier,
braving through the lonely nights
just getting by, living prayer to prayer.
It's so hard to be apart this time of year,
the ones you love should be near.
Material things lose all their value,
cause all I want is him.
Santa have you seen my soldier,
let him know that I miss him and I love him so, love him so.
Santa bring my soldier home,
I need him here in my arms,
cause love's worth fighting for.
Santa bring him home.
Santa bring him home.
Life's not the same without my soldier,
every time we laughed the comfort that it had.
Oh, he's the one that's been there for me all along,
he taught me to be strong enough when times are tough,
and keep the faith when I can't hold on.
It's so hard to be apart this time of year,
the ones you love should be near.
Material things lose all their value,
cause all I want is him.
Santa have you seen my soldier,
let him know that I miss him and I love him so, love him so.
Santa bring my soldier home,
I need him here in my arms,
cause love's worth fighting for.
Santa bring him home.
The wind blows so cold, without your hand to hold.
It's haunting my mind, like the day we said goodbye
There's a boy overseas
Who's lonely just like me
Waiting for the day
my hero comes home to me.
Send my love, send my love, send my love, love,
Send my love, send my love, send my love, love,
Send my, send my love love
Santa have you seen my soldier,
let him know that I miss him and I love him so, love him so.
(Send my love, send my love, send my love, love, )
Santa bring my soldier home,
I need him here in my arms, cause love's worth fighting for.
Santa bring him home.
(Love, love, send my love.....)
So, I'm not going to lie. I feel like a year ago I would have really had an issue with this song. I would have thought that it sounded whiny. I would have probably told the people in the song to suck it up and move on because there is nothing you can do about it.
This time of year, there is so much recognition to the troops that are sent over seas that can't make it home. In reality, there really is nothing you can do about it, but now I think I see another side. Even if this song sounds like many women complaining about how they can't get their man back, I feel like they have the right to complain. Regardless of where you stand on the issue of war, the fact is that it exists. The fact is that there are people working really hard for our country and risking their lives for us. I'm not the biggest fan of war, but I do think that even if you don't support it, you should support the troops and their families because it has to be extremely hard for them to not see each other--especially the children.
I know it's going to be hard when you leave,
but I am here to support you one hundred percent.
As much as I am going to hate having to deal with this,
I want you to know that I love you and I am here for you always.
I want you to be happy with the decisions you are making.
I already know I am going to miss you like crazy.
You're one of my very best friends.
<3

Monday, November 30, 2009

Movie.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3nA9AG1AWk

Yeah...I want to see it.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Iris.

I can't believe one person can make you re-think so many things about what you are and what you think. I'm not saying this is a bad thing at all, it's just crazy to me. The whole going back and forth on love thing is really getting annoying. I wish I could just know what I think about it and the more I'm with him the more my mind goes in the opposite direction than it has in the past. I have actually been pretty happy and it is the weirdest thing to feel like someone cares about me. In fact, it's hard to let someone care about me. I know that might sounds weird but I feel like someone just has to tear my guard down sometimes to get to me. I wish I could just let people care. I think I have spent so much time building up my defense wall that I can't even get past it. I am trying really hard to let him in more and more. I want to let people care. More than anything. As much as I am scared shitless when people care, I feel more safe than I have ever felt since my dad died.

"And I don't want the world to see me, cause I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know WHO I AM"

love you.

fkjaklfjas COURAGE fkihfak COURAGE

This weekend for Thanksgiving I went to visit Julianne in Tennessee. As much as it did not feel like Thanksgiving, it was really nice to get away from everything that is Webster Groves. We just chilled out and caught up. We watched so many movies it wasn't even funny. She made me watch Twilight and then drug me to see New Moon. Which I will admit really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be and I defintely enjoyed going. Robert Pattinson and Taylor Laughter and their sexyness really made the movie. lol :) I was also introduced to Charlie Bartlett and Ellen Degeneres stand up comedy. ELLEN. IS. SO. FUNNY. She is so right about so many things. We walked around Knoxville a bit and walked around Market Square which is super cute--especially with all of the Christmas stuff going around. I also inherited some money with Michael Jackson's face on it and it talked about God and your eternity on the back. haha. Anyways, I am really happy that I got to go this weekend. I feel refreshed and more accepting about having to work my ass off for the rest of the semester. :)

In other news:
WEBSTER WON STATE!!!! 31-14! KICK. ASS. Whoohoo!

_________________________________________________________________

I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you

I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you